“For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”—Matthew 6:14 Amp.
In his book, “The Life God Blesses,” Jim Cymbala of the Brooklyn Tabernacle writes:
“I wonder how many of us live stunted, narrow lives because we hold tightly to the record of wrongs committed against us? How much of our physical illness, chronic insomnia or high anxiety is rooted in memories of nasty rejections and painful hurts of years past? By not forgiving, by not letting these wrongs go, we aren’t getting back at anyone. We are merely punishing ourselves by barricading our hearts, which are channels of God’s grace. How can the Lord who delights in mercy (Psalm 25:6, Ephesians 2:4) walk with and abundantly bless a heart that is filled with resentment and unforgiveness?”
While there is a time to turn over tables, and there are certainly times to set boundaries so someone cannot hurt you again, the longer I walk with the Lord, the more I hear these three little words “let it go!” If you think about it, most of us have an opportunity to forgive almost everyday, especially if you’re in any type of customer service industry or you drive a car … or you have teenage kids. You get the point. There are always instances to forgive. A friend recently shared how she had been deeply wounded by a co-worker, she used the same words I often hear from the Lord. She said, “The Lord said that I should let it go.” Just yesterday, a woman I know in ministry, with a very generous heart, shared a story of being taken advantage of, and her words echoed in my head, “The Lord said to let it go.” There are those words, time and time again.
In 2 Corinthians 2: 5-11, Paul writes to the church:
“If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”
In other words, if a person is sorry, and we do not reaffirm our love for him, Paul says we’ve flunked the test. An unforgiving Christian not only tempts the repentant to harden his heart toward the church and possibly the Lord, but he also paints a picture to the world that Christians are hypocrites. And who gets the advantage then? It is none other than Satan himself. For those of us in Christ, striking a balance between not indulging sin and setting an example of forgiveness and love is key. (my emphasis)
It was a Monday afternoon. I was leaving my office when, from the other side of the door, a stranger burst in. “Do you have a cigarette?” she asked. “No, I don’t,” I said. I wondered if I looked like someone who would smoke. And something else caused me to pause: why was she so exasperated? I felt as if I should ask. Her frustrated and heated response came back, “My car is broke, and I’m on disability. I have family that could help me, but they won’t; I’m not even going to ask them.” I sensed the Lord wanted me to pray with her, but as angry as she was I said, “Lord you’ll have to make a path.” Her very next words to me were, “I need a pastor to pray with me or something.” I smiled and thought, okay Lord, that was good—yes, something like that.
As I prayed, my new friend began to weep. When I finished, she continued with her story. Earlier that day she had been in an argument with her mother. She felt as if no one loved her or cared. She felt like the only person that had ever really loved her was her dad, and now, he was gone, and she was all alone. She said she wondered if God even cared. While she spoke, I tried to formulate my sentence. “God loves you,” I said. “He sent you here.”
She needed to know that everyone in this life will disappoint us. I saw her broken heart, but she needed to pull herself out from that pit of despair and rejection, from painful hurts that kept her tied to the past. There was something she said that I could relate to, and it was the part about her dad. You see, I recently lost someone very dear to me. She loved me with the love of God. She never hurt me or disappointed me all the days that she was my friend. But in the end, I was disappointed—I was disappointed by death. Beloved, there is only one that will never leave you or forsake you. Everyone, yes everyone, else will disappoint you in life. There is only one that will love you perfectly.
This is the same one that loved us enough to teach us the perfect prayer:
“Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, in earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.” —Matthew 6: 9-13 KJV
The next day, the phone rang at my office, it was my new friend. She was calling to thank me for praying for her and to let me know she forgave her mother. She said her mom was frustrated and didn’t know how to help her. Then, her mom apologized for everything she had said. I was glad to hear that their relationship was on the mend.
But, I know there are times in life when we are terribly hurt by people, especially by ones who were supposed to love us and protect us. They may never ask for our forgiveness, they may never really care. What are we supposed to do with that kind of rejection? What do we do then? We have to be imitators of our Father, dear one. We have to forgive. Holding on will eventually hurt us more than any pain that anyone else could inflict. I know it’s hard, but we can take it to the Father, our perfect heavenly Father who can help us “Let it go.” And child of God, then, we will be blessed!
